


Even Through Death

by highfunctioningsocio



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 12:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2811917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highfunctioningsocio/pseuds/highfunctioningsocio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumplestiltskin is dealing with his emotions over his son's death, and his time spent with Zelena. Takes place after S3 finale, but does not include Frozen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rumpelstiltskin sighed as he sifted through a box of junk in the back of his pawn shop. He really wished the town folk would come claim their stupid stuff. Thanks to the latest curse courtesy of Peter Pan his shop had accumulated more junk. Belle had gone through a good bit of it, but there was still a horde of boxes littering the shop. His sign out front "If you lost something it is probably here. Come and claim it," wasn't as effective as he had hoped. One man came in and asked him, "Hey have you seen my car keys. I lost them this morning are they here?" Rumple had just stared at him a really long time silently cursing the incredibly stupid people of Storybrooke. After an awkward minute of silence the man had left, and hadn't bothered Rumple again.

Now as he stood in the back of his shop he heard the chime of his little bell. Must be Belle. She's early it isn't even lunch yet, Rumple thought. He walked out into the front of the shop, and was met with disappointment and dread. It was Mary-Margaret, and her newborn son Neal. Ever since the events with Zelena had ended Rumple had avoided practically everyone in the town. He mostly only ever talked to Belle. But if he had to converse with other people he used as little words as possible, and ditched them at his first chance. Or kicked them out of his shop. As he stared at Mary-Margaret he didn't say anything. He didn't greet her or say something sarcastic like he usually would. He waited for her to speak first. She fidgeted under his stare for a moment then spoke, "Gold, I came to apologize." His eyes widened. Why in the world is she apologizing to me? "I'm sorry we didn't ask you if we could name our son Neal. We wanted to keep to tradition so it would be a surprise for everyone. I hope we didn't upset you." 

"Uhhh," he coughed and cleared his throat, "No um no its... its fine. I'm honored you named him after Bae."

She smiled widely and bent down to take Neal out of his baby carrier. While speaking softly to him she picked him up, and offered him to Rumple, "Would you like to hold him?"

He paled a little bit, and backed away until he had his back against the wall. "No no..... no thanks. Maybe some other time."

She looked concerned as she studied him. "Are you okay? You can hold him. He isn't going to break."

"I'm fine. Is there anything else you want?"

"No that's all."

"Then get out," he realized that sounded quite rude and quickly added, "Please."

She still didn't looked very convinced that he was entirely fine, which he wasn't, but she nodded. She carefully put Neal back in his carrier, and walked out the door. When the door swung shut, and he was finally alone Rumple slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. He rested his forehead on his knees, and closed his eyes. A sob escaped him, "Oh Bae......"

Mary-Margaret watched him from the window. She knew something was wrong so she had decided to hang around, and see what was up. She touched her hand to her heart as she watched him slide to the floor. She could tell he was crying from the way his shoulders shook, but she decided against going back in to comfort him. He probably wouldn't appreciate it. She turned away, and started walking back down the street when the clocktower caught her eye. "Belle!" she said aloud. Belle would know what was wrong, and she could comfort him. She crossed the street to the library, and grabbed the door to swing it open.

Belle smiled as she read the blurb on the back of the book she was holding. It sounded like a really good book. One she had never read before so she was excited to dig into it. She sat down in her favorite chair. Rumple had bought it for her. It was really comfy with a big frame that was great for curling up and cuddling on. She was about to start reading when the door to the library swung open, and Mary-Margaret walked in. She had baby Neal with her, and Belle grinned at the two of them. "Hi, Mary-Margaret! Hi, Neal," she said as she walked over to them. 

"Hi, Belle, listen I just came from Gold's shop and-" she stopped mid sentence as she stared astonished at the ring on Belle's hand. She grabbed her hand to study it then slowly looked up at her, "Belle, is this a wedding ring?"

Belle could barely control her excitement as she nodded eagerly, "Yes!! Two days ago after you announced your baby's name me and Rumple got married."

"That very night?" she gasped.

"Yes!! Oh and please don't feel bad that you weren't invited. Only my dad was there to see us get married. Archie performed the ceremony. Oh, Mary-Margaret it was so perfect!!! It was the happiest moment of my entire life."

"Oh, Belle, I'm so happy for you!! I mean, Mrs. Gold," she giggled like a schoolgirl, "Don't feel bad at all for not inviting anyone to the wedding besides your dad. I cannot be happier for you."

"Thank you!! We got back from our honeymoon this morning."

"Oooh your honeymoon. Where did you two love birds go?"

"Rumple knows about this secluded mansion out in the woods. It's abandoned and no one has claimed it. So we thought what's the harm in borrowing it for our honeymoon? It was gorgeous out there and peaceful. There was a ballroom in it!! Oh we had our first dance in there. It was so romantic and perfect. Rumple is thinking about buying it!! We might get to live in the very same house we spent our honeymoon."

"Belle, that is so amazing!! I hope he buys it. You two can have your very own castle out there in the woods."

"I don't think it will take much prompting to get him to buy it. I wouldn't be surprised if when I see him for lunch he tells me he's going to buy it."

"Oh, Belle," she squeezed her hand. It was so perfect that Belle and Rumple were getting their happy ending. Oh wait Rumple! she thought. "Belle, I almost forgot, but there is a reason I came over here." 

"Why did you come to see me?" she asked as she tickled Neal.

"I was just at your husband's shop to ask him if he was okay with us naming our son Neal. He said it was fine, but when I asked if he wanted to hold Neal he got really nervous. He kicked me out of the shop, but I looked in through the front window to see if he was okay. He was crying on the floor so I came over here so you could see what was wrong. I don't think he'd appreciate my comfort."

Immediately, Belle's face fell. She looked really sad as she gathered up her purse, "Thanks for telling me. I'll go see him right now."

"Your welcome. Um, Belle, is he okay? Has he been acting up like this lately?"

She gave her a small smile, and nodded, "I'll tell you about it over a cup of tea some time. See you later." Belle walked out the door leaving Mary-Margaret staring after her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my fan fiction. Please leave me a review. Thanks :)

Rumple pulled himself to his feet, and wiped at his face that was now wet from his tears. He took several deep breaths to try to calm himself down. Once he felt relatively calm he walked over to the mirror to inspect himself. He sighed. If anyone was to come in right now it would be evident that he had been crying. DING Rumple hastily rubbed at his face, and turned around to confront his visitor. Belle greeted him with a warm smile as she strode into the shop. "Oh hi, Belle," he said as he walked over to her.

"Hey, Rumple," she replied carefully studying his face. It was obvious to her that he had been crying. "You okay?" 

He sighed there wasn't any point in lying to her, "No, I'm not."

"You want to talk?"

He nodded, and led her into the back of the shop. They sat down on the bed in the corner together. Belle wrapped her arms around him, and looked into his eyes. "Whenever you're ready, Rumple."

"Mary-Margaret came over today to see if it had been okay for them to name their child after my son. I said it was fine, but it isn't. It hurts to have to hear his name. When I hear them call their child Neal I think they are talking to my son, and a burst of happiness fills my heart. Then I remember that.....," Rumple's voice shakes as he speaks, "My son is dead. I can't just tell them that though. They've already named him I have no choice, but to be okay with it. Then she asked me if I would like to hold him, and I.... I just couldn't. Holding him would just be too much for me to handle. He has his name. My son's name. If I'd so much as touch him I know I would fall apart."

Belle watched as tears trickled down his cheeks, and dripped off his chin. Her own tears started to form as she held him tightly. "Maybe it would help ease your sorrow if you go talk to him. Go to his grave, Rumple. It is time you do."

"No.... no no I couldn't do it. I can't. It would hurt too much, Belle. To go to his grave would really finalize his death. I'm not ready for that. I don't think I ever will be."

"I'll be with you. You won't go alone. You are not alone in your grief, Rumple. I miss him too. I'm here for you."

He nodded, but didn't agree to going. He still didn't think he had the strength to see his son's grave. Rumple turned to look at Belle in the eyes. "What do you say about getting out of town?"

"What do you mean?"

"That house we spent our honeymoon in. We both love it let's buy it. I have the money. We can move in right away. How about this week?"

"Woah woah slow down! We can't move into a mansion like that so quickly. Why are you so eager to get out of town?"

He looked down at his hands as he nervously twisted them, "I can't stand facing these people anymore. I'm a monster, Belle. I did terrible things while Zelena had me under her control," tears misted his eyes as he spoke, "I tried to kill people. I hurt people. In that cell in her storm cellar was hell. She made me do terrible things. Things that I wish I could so badly forget. Ones I can never forgive myself for. Walking through this town I can sense the staring eyes. I can't stand it. I need to get out."

"Rumple, no one blames you for what happened!! Nobody holds any grudges against you. If anything people are worried about you. I know I am. I wish I could help you. Nothing was your fault, and moving out of town won't solve your problem. You still run this pawnshop."

"Maybe I'll just close the shop then," he mumbled.

Belle stared wide eyed at him. She wasn't sure if she had heard him correctly. Rumple noted the look she was giving him, and quickly added, "Not indefinitely of course."

"You're just going to cut yourself off from everyone?"

"Belle, please understand. I need to be alone. I need time."

"Are you going to cut yourself off from me too?"

"Belle, no! No of course not!" he put his hands gently on the sides of her face and looked into her eyes, "We're married now. I would never shut you out like that. I need you."

She smiled at him, "Yes, we are married now. That means I will be right here with you. You can get through this. We won't let Zelena ruin our lives even through death."

He leaned forward slowly and purposely. He lips softly met hers in a kiss. They just held each other for a minute totally relaxed. Neither one wanted to be the first to break the kiss, but finally Rumple pulled away. "How does lunch sound, Mrs. Gold?"

She giggled, "Mr. Gold it's only 10:17."

"Eh who cares. I'm hungry. Early lunch at Granny's?"

"Sounds great."

Rumple got up from the bed, and helped Belle to her feet. They walked out of the shop with their arms linked together, and smiles on their faces.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave me a review :)

Belle smiled to herself as she walked out of Granny's with a cup of iced tea. She had only recently been introduced to it, and she LOVED it. If she could get her hands on iced tea then she would jump at the chance. Her smile slowly faded as she walked past Rumple's pawn shop. It still had its closed sign hanging in the door. Five days ago they had happily bought, and moved into the mansion in the woods. Thanks to Rumple's magic the moving was easy. Belle even got to buy new furniture for the house. She was happy there, but she still felt bad for Rumple. He hadn't been into town since they moved. So his shop had stayed closed. Belle still made the commute to town though, She didn't want to give up her job as head librarian. She just loved it too much. She had just made it to the doors of the library when someone started calling her name. "Belle!!"

She turned around to see Emma Swan and David Noland crossing the street toward her. "Good morning, Emma. Good morning, David. How can I help you?" she asked.

We're looking for Gold. His shop isn't open yet like it usually is. Do you know where he is?" asked Emma.

"Yes, I do. But you can't see him right now I'm sorry."

"What? Why not?" asked David.

"Because he needs some time alone."

"Forget having time alone we need his help. Is he at his house?" asked Emma.

"Yes, but you see we moved. So you don't know where we live anymore."

"Please tell us. You don't understand the importance. When this crisis is adverted then he can have some peace and quiet, but right now we need his help," said Emma.

"No, he purposely told me not to tell anyone where we moved. We moved for a reason. He needed to get out of town for a little bit. Just tell me what's wrong, and I can talk to him later for you."

They looked at her for a long moment then David sighed, "Okay we'll give him space just make sure to ask him if he knows anything about a creature with the body of a lion and the head of an eagle. More importantly how to defeat such a creature."

"Okay I'll be sure to ask him."

Belle turned to go into the library when Emma grabbed her shoulder, "Why did he want to get out of town? Why does he want to be alone?"

A flicker of anger crossed Belle's face, "Why do you think? He just lost his son, and was freed from a year of torture under the Wicked Witch of the West. Now I wonder why he's acting funny?" With that she slammed the library door closed in their faces. Belle let out a deep breath as she stood in the dark library. Immediately she started feeling bad about losing her temper, and slamming the door. But it made her angry, and rightly so. Everyone in this town thinks he's made of steel, but he's not! Why can't they see it like I do, she thought angrily. Okay that is enough of being angry. I will not dwell in this anger. She thought as she straightened her shoulders, and started sorting through library books. 

Emma stared surprised at the library door that had just slammed in her face. She started to go forward to go after Belle, but David reached out to stop her. "No, let's give her some space. She's right. We weren't thinking. When she gets back to us on this creature. Then we'll apologize, and talk to her. Okay?"

"Yeah you're right," Emma nodded. She turned on her heel, and walked away. She had a distracted look on her face as she and David walked back to the patrol car. "You okay?" David asked putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah it's just I never put much thought or sympathy into what Mr. Gold went through. Belle was right to be angry with us."

"Yeah, we didn't think about that, but what I'm thinking about is where did they move too?"

"Haha yes that's a case I'd be interested in taking up. Where did the happy couple move to?"

David chuckled as Emma started up the patrol car, and pulled away from the curb.

Rumple had to admit he really did love being away from the pesky townspeople. It was so nice not to be bothered for once. He couldn't believe he had been able to go 5 days with no interruptions. He didn't believe in miracles, but this really was a miracle. The only person he had seen was Belle, and she was the only one that ever called him either. She had been a bit confused over cellphones. But he had enjoyed taking time to explain it to her. Now she owned a cellphone, and would call him several times a day. Being alone in the mansion freaked him out sometimes. It would be too quiet, and a huge fear would overcome him. Even though he knew he could defend himself he felt like Zelena was creeping in every corner and stalking every shadow. Even if he was tired during the day he would never take a nap if Belle wasn't there. Nightmares stalked his sleep. He hadn't had a good nights sleep since before Neverland. But when he started feeling terrified he would call up Belle, and casually talk to her like nothing was wrong at all. She always had this way of knowing something was wrong, but thankfully she was polite enough to pretend she didn't.

He was casually making himself lunch when he heard a great cry. It sounded like a giant eagle, but no eagle in this world is big enough to make such a noise. Right? He got up, and looked out the window to investigate. There wasn't anything out the window he could see so he turned away and went to sit down again. Just as he sat down he heard it again. This time he didn't go to the window, but straight out the front door.

He strode through the forest looking for the creature that made that noise, and listening for it. SCREECH Rumple spun to his left, and started running towards the noise. As he got closer he heard someone shouting. Is someone in trouble? he thought. He ran through the trees until he saw a huge creature darting through the trees. His mouth dropped open as he realized what it was. A griffin. It had the body of a lion and the head of an eagle. It was 10 feet tall and terrifying. He saw that circling the great beast was Emma and David. David had his sword out trying to get in a good strike. Emma was trying to shoot it, but her bullets weren't doing very good damage. The griffin leaned down towards Emma and screeched. The force from it's voice was enough to lift her off her feet, and send her tumbling backwards. David charged it from behind, but the beast was already going in for the kill. "Emma!!!!!" David screamed.

Rumple ran as he stretched out his hands to create a fireball. He quickly formed it, and threw it with all his strength. With his mind he willed it to get bigger as it shot through the air. Seconds before the griffin's jaws devoured Emma his fireball engulfed it. The whole thing went up in flames with it screaming terribly. It tried to take flight and get away. But Rumple lifted up his arms then slammed them down on his sides. This motion made the wind slam down on the beast's wings and, pin it to the ground. It withered and screamed for a few more minutes before it stopped its struggling. 

David skirted around it, and ran for Emma. "Are you okay?!" he yelled as he bent down to inspect her.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine. Just a little out of breathe. Who the hell killed it?" Emma asked.

Rumple walked over to them, "That would be me. Hello."

"Gold! Wow um thank you," Emma stammered.

"You're welcome. Now how did this griffin make it into this world?"

Emma blushed as David helped her to her feet, "It was all my fault. I was practicing magic at Regina's vault, and well there were these feathers. Which I guess turned out to be griffin feathers. I accidentally used magic to summon it."

"It wasn't your fault, Emma. You're still learning to control your magic," David reassured. 

"Actually it was completely Emma's fault. Of course accidents do happen though so it can be forgiven. Belle had called me earlier mentioning something about you two needing to know how to defeat this creature. Since I've taken care of it for you I expect that is all the help you require of me. Goodbye," he said as he turned his back quickly on them and walked away.

They both stared at him unsure of what to say. David awkwardly cleared his throat and said, "Um, Gold, are you uh okay?"

He turned around, and gave them a tight smile, "Of course I'm okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) Please leave me a review, and tell me what you think.

"You don't have to make me tea you know. I'm capable of doing it myself," Mary-Margaret said from her position on the couch.

Belle smiled at her as she put the kettle of water over the stove, "It's fine! You deserve to sit back and rest. Really I don't mind at all. Now what do you want? Earl grey or chamomile?"

"Chamomile please." Mary-Margaret watched her as she looked through the cabinets for two mugs. She let her keep on her futile search until Belle turned to look at her, "Where are the mugs?"

"Third cabinet on the left of the stove. Top shelf."

She swung open the cabinet door to reveal a wide assortment of mugs. Biting her lip she smiled as she looked over her shoulder at the other woman, "You guys are quite the hoarders when it comes to mugs aren't you?"

Mary-Margaret giggled, "Yes we are. There is something about a mug that makes a home feel more homey. Although we really should get rid of a few-"

"A few? Your cabinet is on the verge of collapsing from the weight of all these mugs."

She burst out laughing at Belle's face as she tried to grab some mugs without toppling them all. Belle frowned in concentration while holding two mugs in one hand, and trying to steady the rest of the mugs with one hand. Once they stopped wobbling she stepped back and quickly closed the cabinet. "That is a safety hazard," she said as she poured the tea into the two mugs.

"I love danger," Mary-Margaret replied.

Belle good-naturedly stuck her tongue out at her as she walked over. "Here you go. One hot cup of tea."

"Thank you sweetie," she replied as she took a careful sip of the hot tea. 

They sat quietly together sipping their tea. They enjoyed the quiet as Neal slept in his crib. Then Mary-Margaret casually said, "You know you mentioned several days ago that you'd tell me what's been going on over a cup of tea. I don't mean to pry, but we are drinking tea together right now."

"Oh no you aren't prying at all! I forgot I owe you an explanation. Where should I start?"

"Start with Rumple being released from the witch," Mary-Margaret suggested.

She took a deep breath and began, "When we finally were under the same roof again he started to fall apart. He tried so hard to hide it from me, but it was blatantly obvious. Sometimes when I call him Rumple he flinches or steps away from me. If I touch him when he isn't expecting it or lean forward to kiss him he'll back away. At night it's the worst. He hasn't slept more than 5 hours a night since he's gotten back. He'll either wake up screaming from nightmares or he'll refuse to sleep at all. I've also noticed how painfully thin he has gotten. He still only eats a little. I know it's all because of that Wicked Witch. The tortures she has inflicted upon him have scarred him deeply. It hurts my heart so badly to see him so hurt. I've only been with him two weeks now, and I can see how badly it has effected him. He is still hurting. The pain and loss of his son is fresh in his heart. That's why you saw him crying after you left. He couldn't even bring himself to hold the baby that was named after his son. He hasn't even gone to see his grave. I.... I-" Belle broke off in a sob. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to say something, but lost herself in the tears. "I just I just want to be able to be there for him. But he is afraid of me! He's afraid of getting to close, and hurting me! Being ordered to kill me, and almost fulfilling it has made him fear getting close to me," she sobbed.

Mary-Margaret set down her cup of tea, and pulled Belle into a hug. She rested her chin on her head and stroked her back. "It's okay. It's okay. You are there for him. You are his wife now, and you are closer to him than you ever were before. You can't do all the healing for him. He'll get there. He needs time, honey. You love him, and he loves you. That is what matters."

She continued to cry, but nodded her head. Neal's cries joined hers from across the room. "Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake him up," Belle sniffed.

"It's fine, Belle," she said as she gently pulled away from the hug and went to get him. She bent down over his crib, and grinned down at him. "Are you crying to make Belle feel better little man?"

Belle halfheartedly grinned at the two of them. She was about to say something when her cell phone went off. After glancing at if for a second she said, "I'm sorry, Mary-Margaret, but I have to go home. Rumple wants to see me."

She smiled at her as she gently rocked Neal, "It's fine. I'll see you later. Tell Rumple I hope he'll come back into town soon."

Belle nodded and shot her an apologetic smile. She reached out for the doorknob when it suddenly opened before her. Emma and David collided into her almost knocking her off her feet. Emma and David were just as surprised as she was. "I'm so sorry we didn't see you," David apologized as she tried to stop Belle from falling over.

"It's okay. I'm fine," she replied as she got herself untangled and out the door. 

"Wait, Belle. I need to apologize for being so insensitive and blind about Mr. Gold," Emma said.

"I accept your apology, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. Now I need to go I'll see you later," she said. She hurriedly waved at them as she turned away and went down the stairs. 

Emma's jaw suddenly dropped, and she turned around to face her mom. "Was that a wedding ring I just saw on her hand?"

"Yes it was. She and Gold got married not long after he was freed from Zelena."

"Cheers to them then. I hope they are blessed with a happy ending. Together," David stated.


End file.
